Wow, there's this really hot new band, right, and they're, like, oh my God, like, totally awesome and the singer's like a total hottie and their sound is really new and totally fresh and current. They, like, couldn't be more relevant if they tried and they really care about their fans because they're so, like, what's the word, like, prolific and shit. They'd never dream of taking one of their own fans to court for, like, daring to share some of their like totally awesome new music. The song is 'Chinese Democracy' and the band are Guns N' Roses or some shit.
People have genuinely been waiting about 17 years for this song. In that time there have been wars, terrorist attacks, Britney Spears, Harry Potter, two recessions, George W. Bush, Big Brother, Jordan, the fall of capitalism, etc, etc. The album of the same name reportedly cost over $13 million to make, which is actually pretty offensive.
This song may have a political message. If so, it's probably got something to do with Bill Clinton's re-election seeing as that was going on around the time it was written BACK IN THE MID-NINETIES!
Jay-Z has been all over the place of late. What with all that Glastonbury nonsense with musical neanderthal Noel Gallagher, marrying the bootylicious Beyonce, signing a multi-million dollar contract with Live Nation, releasing 'Swagga Like Us'- the M.I.A-sampling single that also featured Kanye, T.I and Lil' Wayne- and launching a range of beauty products called 99 Problems But Bad Skin Ain't One (OK, one of these isn't true). Jay-Z has certainly never been as talked about as he is right now. All this may change however if he doesn't stop messing with shit he shouldn't be messing with (still been watching too much of The Wire!).
Firstly, he appears on a remix version of M.I.A's 'Boyz', a single taken from her album Kala, which has just been re-released following the success of 'Paper Planes'. This new version is weak compared to the original and Jay-Z brings precisely nothing to the table except some lumpen political posturing. M.I.A's new verses aren't great either though...
Still, at least 'Boyz' is a good song and can just about handle being 'Jay-Zed'. At least it's not a limp, cliche-ridden dirge. How bad would it be if Jay-Z rocked up on one of those? This bad perhaps...
That's Coldplay featuring Jay-Z with 'Lost'. Seamless, don't you think?
The bestest thing about birthdays are the presents. I celebrated the passing of another year just a few days ago (I'm guessing your birthday messages were lost in cyberspace somewhere?), and received the rather wonderful 'O' by Tilly & The Wall as a way of dampening the existential fear as I slowly creep closer to death... Anywho, the album is their best yet, with twelve good songs rather than the normal ratio of two great songs, four good songs and five bad ones.
If you listen to Radio 1 (God help you child) then you may have heard this:
* This isn't the official video, but it is twenty three times better then the day-glo original.
My personal favourite from the album is a track called 'Pot Kettle Black', and luckily there's a video so I get to share it with you guys.
WARNING: This video contains lycra, choreography, swearing and small-town American trash.
This cake isn't even mine. Yep, I stole it from someone else. I steal happiness and pretend it's my own. Oh well. 
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
Whilst avoiding sleep, Musick stumbled upon what looks like a finished version of the new Bjork track, 'Nattura'. We mentioned it here. Not sure where it came from or how it got online (or, more importantly, how long it will stay there), but here it is.
It's a lot more industrial sounding then anything she's done before. Like Tool or Nine Inch Nails if they were genuinely angry. On Volta she worked with two drummers- Lightening Bolt's Brian Chippendale and Chris Corsano- but their contributions were mixed with a handful of other instrumentation, whilst here it's mainly drums and the faint wail of a certain Mr Thom Yorke (especially at the 0.40 mark).
Lyrically...well...er...it's all in Icelandic so God only knows. I really like it.
It sounds like the end of the world.
You know what, Chico was wrong. It's not 'Chico Time', it's 'electro o'clock' is what it is*, and here comes another purveyor of all things electric, Little Boots. 
Miss Boots is currently unsigned but has been causing the kind of buzz in the music press that usually leads to a couple of good singles, a rushed album and a footnote come the end of 2009. However, things seem different in this case, mainly because the songs on her myspace are really quite something. She's just posted a brand new track, 'Mathematics', and will be posting new songs every week for the forseebale future. Also available for your ears is 'Meddle', co-produced with one of Hot Chip, a song that sounds like Aaliyah-era Timbaland mating ferociously with Kylie. Yep, it's that good.
Click here for enlightenment.
Little Boots also has a brilliant youtube page that includes about ten cover versions. The best of the lot is this cover of Hot Chip's 'Ready For The Floor'.
Give it a minute to get going. Really amazing. That instrument/light show is called a Tenori-on and is quite literally the greatest thing ever made. They retail at £600 so if you want to donate money so I can buy one that would be greatly appreciated. Hey, I provide a service here and I expect to get paid fool*.
* This blog entry was brought to you by someone who has watched far too much of The Wire.
EDIT: The video has been taken off youtube. I can only think it was the embarrassment of it all...
We like to set you challenges every so often. This week's challenge is to watch this 'performance' all the way through without averting your eyes or wanting to stick your fist in your mouth. Ladies and gentlemen, Scott 'the ex-blue coat' Bruton.
To be fair we could have chosen a couple of other performances from last night's musical feast, but this is bad on so many levels. He looks so uncomfortable, in that suit, with that mic, in his own skin. Please bare in mind that he survived the public vote, proving that democracy is not always such a good idea. Or that people who vote on X Factor are usually morons.
