Massive cock

Right, we know you're pretty much up to speed on the whole Beyoncé'thing' and her alter-ego business, but we thought we'd let you in on the next phase of her metamorphosis...get Kanye West to rap on a pretty weak track to bring it to the attention of radio. As a ploy it's not wholly original, but usually pretty successful.

'Ego' finds Kanye lazily mumbling about how girls love his "big ego" and pausing just before he finishes as if to say "actually I mean my big cock". If you haven't picked up on the subtleties of that then the next line is "so stroke my big ego"...HE MEANS COCK.



As for Beyoncé, well she slips into something less comfortable and grinds around like a mad woman, which is her being 'fierce' and 'empowered'.

New Musick Monday

OK, so as expected Rose Elinor Dougall ended our run of two songs crashing into the UK top 15, with the otherwise stupendous 'Start/Stop/Synchro'. We forgive her all this of course because she's proper fit, and Lord knows that gets you a long way these days, as we know only too well. We did have success, however, on the album charts where Little Boots' Hands entered at number 5, silencing the small group of naysayers who were all ready to write her off. Come on, save something for the follow-up album guys.

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Varshons by The Lemonheads



So we don't get accused of sexism by someone from The Guardian's Woman section, we'd like to state for the record that The Lemonheads' Evan Dando is also proper fit. It's that lank mane of hair, those laconic blue eyes, that voice. This is an album of cover versions (or 'varshons') ranging from the obvious (Gram Parsons' 'I Just Can't Take It Anymore') to the wonderfully bizarre ('Beautiful' by Christina Aguilera). Unfortunately he also lets Kate Moss loose on the electro-tinged 'Dirty Robot', which is about as sexy as photographing genital warts for a sexual health magazine.

REMIND YOURSELF OF THEIR BRILLIANCE

Midlife: A Beginners Guide by Blur



We've failed to mention before the fact that Blur have reunited for a slew of gigs this summer. You've probably heard all about it by now of course, but if not, then that first sentence was an EXCLUSIVE. This is a brand new collection of their biggest singles and some of their best album tracks ('Blue Jeans', 'He Thought Of Cars', 'Trimm Trabb') and is all the better for not featuring 'Crazy Beat', the nadir not just for Blur (minus Graham) but all music.

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'Heavy Cross' by Gossip



We can't seem to stop listening to this song, so with that in mind we're ignoring the fact this actually came out to download two weeks ago and will instead focus on the release of a CD version. What was that? Everyone's stopped buying CDs now? Yeah, well we're rocking it old skool, hell, we might even buy it on MiniDisc, how about that? If, like some, you think producer Rick Rubin has polished all of the Gossip's rougher edges then why not watch this brilliant live version or the official video and hope the images distract you.

Peñate butter

We, the music writing fraternity, felt sure we had the measure of Jack Peñate. That strange knee-knocking dance move he did, those clothes that screamed 'poor student' when in fact his Grandfather owned Bath or something and most disarmingly of all, those annoying busker-in-Shoreditch singalongs.



As we mentioned here, he's had a bit of a change of heart of late and his second album, the aptly-titled Everything Is New, is 95% better then the first. Producer Paul Epworth has added some Afrobeat, a dash of dance music's euphoria and slow-burning hit singles. This is the new single, 'Be The One':



It's not a great video by any means, but it does feature Jack in an ensemble last worn by Russia's gold medal winning ice dancers circa 1984 (3:15 onwards).

When Musick mentioned that we had a copy of his new album (EXCLUSIVE) we were met with blank looks, turned up noses and general indifference, a microcosm of the reaction he may still face trying to remedy the damage done with the first album. Still, everyone loves a fighter...

Automatic for the people

A few months back Musick composed a heartfelt note to President Barack Obama pleading with him to help rid the planet of a deadly pandemic. Not bird flu, no, but autotune. Finally, after months of negotiations between his people (bless you Hilary, those muffins you made were delicious) and our people, word was sent that Obama had come up with a cure in the shape of a certain Mr Jay-Z:



'D.O.A', or 'Death of Autotune' is taken from the Jigga's much-delayed The Blueprint 3 album, which will finally see the light of day in September. This track features a lot of guitar, typically big beats from producer Kanye West and some lyrics about the recession, ringtones and general bravado. BUT, just when we thought it was safe to go back and listen to the charts again, Kanye goes and produces this:



We've mentioned Mr Hudson before, but this is his first single since his big American re-twizzle. 'Supernova' features some left-over beats from Kanye's 808s & Heartbreaks album, a massive chorus and, yeah, you guessed it, a whole load of autotune. Mr Obama we still need you, don't let us down now.

Blame the strike!

Deepest apologies for the lack of content in recent days, Musick has spent most of that time sitting on buses weeping.

Anyway, you can't keep a good (?) blog down and so we're back, doing what we do best (??). This is the rather lovely new single, 'Dave', by everyone's favourite Swedish shoegazers, The Radio Dept:



But, hark, what goes there? A synth!? Some polite beats!? What will the loyal fanbase say. Probably not a lot to be honest, just some muffled excuses you couldn't hear because they were gazing at their shoes and playing with the frayed edges of their polo necks. Still, brilliant song and nearly as good as this, their career highlight.

Fo sho Mpho

There's a lot of waiting around in music these days. New acts come along with their impossible to find taster singles, then they take up acres of space in magazines and broadsheets and then before you know it, six months later, their album drops. Brixton-born Mpho is being talked up by those in the know as something quite special and whilst rooting around in someone else's box (!) at work we found a 5-track album sampler, an amuse-bouche if you will, prior to the main meal (the album, Pop Art, is out in October).

This is her face:



Here's an in-depth track-by-track guide to the sampler:

'See Me Now' - Lyrically it's all "you didn't think I'd make it, well look at me now", whilst musically it's got some real nice beats, chugging guitars and some sweet "ah ho, ah ho" bits. Very good.

'Box N Locks' - The first single. It samples this, and can be seen below.



'Fix Ya Face' - Features the worst 'robot' voice effect in musical history and is very obviously the least inspiring thing on the sampler. It does features some nice synth effects, some odd whooshes but it's a bit dull to be honest.

'Hips Go Pop' - Now this is more like it. MASSIVE beats, a juddering synth line, some orgasmic breathlessness and a lyric about loving your ass and shaking what ya mumma gave ya. Or something. It even features a conversation with God about how He made her with a "whip in her hips".

'Paranoid Type' - More familiar territory here, with Mpho stalking her boyfriend via myspace and getting jealous and paranoid that he might be cheating on her. It's a funky little ditty to be sure, with lots of squelchy beats and it rattles by in less than three minutes.

Overall, a very promising start Mpho.

New Musick Monday

Well now, we seem to be on some kind of 'straight into the top 15 with a bullet' roll at the moment. 'We Are The People' by Empire of the Sun climbed to no. 14 last week, mainly due to the exposure we decided to give to them as an act of immeasurable generosity. It was, in retrospect, the wrong decision as both Marina & The Diamonds and the Gossip had new singles out that same day but we missed them both. Once again, we apologise and hope you forgive us.

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The Eternal by Sonic Youth



Like Gordon Brown, Sonic Youth have stubbornly stood their ground for what seems like an age. Unlike Gordon Brown this is a welcome trait and one that hasn't lead to such disillusionment that a racist political party now has some semblance of power on a European stage (oh, political). The Eternal continues the band's recent form, contorting their sound into delightfully artful pop shapes, with melodies emerging from the perfect din like fireworks through mud or some such crap.

BUY THIS FOR A FIVER AND SAVE A LIFE

Hands by Little Boots



Some online retailers are selling this debut album by the gargantuanly hyped Little Boots for just five English pounds. For some - "rubbish" Rob, "Jake doesn't like Little Boots" Jake - the hype has lead to disappointment upon hearing the finished album, and their vitriol (?) is matched by a 2/5 review in Q and relatively disastrous single campaign. Still, Hands is a good, solid pop record, one that features at least five singles and one that should cement the beginnings of a promising career.

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'Start/Stop/Synchro' by Rose Elinor Dougall



'Start/Stop/Synchro' is the second solo single from ex-Pipette Rose Elinor Dougall and is possibly where our run of top 15 entries dies a sad death. But fear not because as everyone knows the charts are run by the Government and as this political diatribe masquerading as a music blog entry has already stated, they know nothing. This is a delightful slice of Stereolab-esque indie-pop featuring a harpsichord, Motown drums, a breathless vocal and some sad lyrics about not being someone else. Hear it here.