This is the cover for Morrissey's new b-sides album (!) Swords:
But what is he doing?
a). Having a bit of a rest after a lively jaunt in the woods? b). Keeping ever so quiet so as not to disturb a deer just out of shot? c). Suffering from the most painful bowel movements that have lead to him literally shitting in his pants? That expression is "if a living legend who's not as good as he used to be shits in the woods and no-one's there to see it does it matter that Jonny Marr is in the Cribs?"
Let us tell you a short and not very interesting story. It was October 2007 and Radio 1 were about to play the new single by a certain young lady called Leona Lewis. The song was called 'Bleeding Love' and it was supposed to be the single to launch a new global superstar, yaddah yaddah yaddah. So, that now familiar organ swell kicked in, those vocals reared up and then that odd, almost cheap-sounding drum machine made the whole thing sound strangely, well, good. We were genuinely excited to hear it, which a lot of people will think is ridiculous because it's a pop song and she's from a talent show and it's much more interesting and challenging to listen to Autechre or The Cribs, etc, etc. But, it would take a fool to suggest that 'Bleeding Love' isn't amazing and though her singles after that seemed to gradually get worse, 'Bleeding Love' did what it set out to do; created a superstar.
Anyway, Lewis has a new single called 'Happy', which given her new found status might be just as important as 'Bleeding Love'. Produced again by Ryan Tedder, it's, well, it's a bit, you know, er, 'meh'. Basically, it's a nice song and there are some nice moments but it doesn't make our ears prick up and we can't shake the feeling that the booming drums and quiet, loud, quiet, loud structure makes it no more than 'Bleeding Love's slightly duller sister.
Here it is:
Towards the end there are some ridiculous vocal gymnastics, which makes us think that given Whitney Houston's recent vocal problems (or, 'the drugs', as it's also known) it's basically Leona sticking her finger up in Houston's face and saying "step back biatch, you're in my house now". Probably.
It was Blur that once sang: "Bank Holiday comes with a six pack of beer...then it's back to work". Well, not for us. Our Bank Holiday was spent at work, having shifted the beer drinking forward a day to the Sabbath. We know, we know, may the Lord send down a thunder bolt or some such. Anywho, we must deal the hand that we have been dealt and get back to business. Last week we predicted big things for the Arctic Monkeys album, which wasn't exactly going out on a limb. It entered at no. 1, having outsold the rest of the top 5 put together. Needless to say the Fiery Furnaces album was nowhere to be seen and the Black Lips/Lumina single just missed out on the top spot thanks to about 75 other singles that all sold more. For this week, you should all be buying these things...
BUY THIS
Kid A (Special Collectors Edition) by Radiohead
Radiohead are going to love this. Having ditched EMI in favour of releasing their last album via carrier pigeon, Radiohead upset their former paymasters to such a degree that they cobbled together a Greatest Hits package and started releasing all their albums again in various forms. These re-releases may not have been overseen by the band, but they are worth investigating not least this new version of Kid A, which not only features the incredible original album, but also a second CD of live versions and a DVD of a couple of TV performances. Amnesiac and Hail To The Thief have also been re-packaged with various b-sides and live tracks, but seeing as the original source is one of the best things ever released we're going with Kid A.
HAVE A BIT OF CRY TO THIS
First Days of Spring by Noah & The Whale
May we, for a second, be crude? If we had split up with Laura Marling we would be pretty depressed too, for she is proper fit. Ahem. Charlie Fink, singer with twee-indie-also-rans Noah & The Whale, broke up with the lovely Marling recently and decided to write an entire album about how it made him feel and how he was going to get over it. The lyrics pretty much run the gamut of heartbreak cliche, but musically the band have expanded their sound to include strings, choirs and a bit of a go on the old kitchen sink to create a stirring second album.
DOWNLOAD THIS
'Get Sexy' by Sugababes
We could have gone for The Cribs new single, or that one by Jamie T, but you know what, we're stuck in an office on a sunny Bank Holiday and we're going to choose a fun little pop song that samples Right Said Fred and is not a patch on past glories but is good enough for now thank you very much. 'Get Sexy' sounds a bit too try-hard when you listen to it without the video, but somehow it improves when matched with all those bright lights and gyrating hips. Why don't you have a little look here.
